Patience is virtue…that I don’t have

I guess that’s not completely true… For the most part I would say I’m a fairly patient person. However there are some bad combinations of things where I am unable to keep myself composed. Most people that know me well enough, know that I’m pretty much a big baby! There are 2 main things that I need in my life for me to be my best self; food, and sleep. If I don’t have either of those, you better watch out!  I could suddenly get really angry for an abnormal reason, or get really emotional for another abnormal reason. It really depends on the situation. And you will be left with utter confusion of how I could possibly end up that way. But don’t worry, I will be confused too! Most of the time I find I can’t really explain myself further, except to say that I’m either hungry or tired. My mom and Ryan I would say understand this part of me the most (Sorry you two!).

So being here in China, probably because everything is so different, my emotions and patience is tested to the limits. As I mentioned earlier about some people not respecting the personal space, or people butting in line and stuff like that…it’s usually during these moments where my body becomes paralyzed with anger and frustration. Ryan sometimes references the Hulk to the way I behave when I can’t control myself.

Let me give you a hilariously atrocious way that I behaved the last time I was here in China.

Ryan and I had a fairly nice day around China and we were thinking ‘Hey, why not end it off on a good note by going out for dinner’. At this point, Ryan and I were staying in Tianjin, and were living in serviced apartments. The room was actually about the same size as a hotel room, but equipped with a washing machine and kitchenette. Anyways, because it was part of the hotel, we had decided to go to the hotel restaurant. Going down to the restaurant, we heard this couple signing and playing songs on the piano in the massive lobby that occupied mostly the empty chairs they had filled the room with. Normally, I would find the piano playing and signing beautiful, however Ryan and I have heard this playlist every evening for the past month. So really it wasn’t anything too exciting, but I was looking towards having a nice meal with Ryan. We walked up to the lovely employee who was glad to have a break from her boredom to guide us to our seats. What boggles my mind from this point on is the endless amount of tables to choose from, yet she decided that we should sit in the table behind the only other couple in the restaurant. So..that’s fine right? It doesn’t make sense but okay, I’ll take my seat. But wait!…The gentleman in the seat in front of us, has his chair pulled out from his table so far that he is basically taking up all the space of where I should be sitting. But you know what? It’s fine…I’ll just kindly ask him to move his chair forward and it’ll be fine. I think he was too absorbed in the story he was telling his girlfriend (I say girlfriend because he seemed like he was trying really hard to impress her). So his girlfriend had to get his attention to see that I wanted him to move forward into his table. He looks at me and moves his chair, I SWEAR, about one inch into his table. This therefore is still restricting me from sitting down in my chair and enjoying the food that I am SO looking forward to. At this point, I suppose my patience for the day wore out; just like a battery. I mean, maybe he assumed that I was normal Chinese size and could squeeze into my chair. But unfortunately I am quite larger than most Chinese women, or maybe women in general at that point. With my patience being at the end of it’s rope, I angrily pull out my chair into his, and shove him into his table, while I plunk myself down into my own seat (finally!). At this point, Ryan is already sitting down looking at his menu, but after this fit of anger I had, I look up at him to see the look on his face only to realize what I had just done. I literally shoved a man as if he were nothing, into his table without the courtesy of saying excuse me or sorry. I mean, how was he supposed to know that if he didn’t move his chair more than an inch that I was going to flip out? And in a way, maybe he was giving me a compliment thinking that I was capable of fitting into that tiny space? But those were certainly thoughts that were absent from my mind at the time that I turned into the Hulk. I didn’t know why I did it, or even how I did it at the time…it just happened! I looked up at Ryan with my hands on my cheeks and said “Oh my god…he’s pissed isn’t he? he’s staring at me isn’t he?” Ryan gives a bit of a smirk back and says ‘Yup’, but he also looks like he has a bit of fear in his eyes like ‘Who the heck am I dating?” Because I am just SO embarrassed, I don’t even turn around to say sorry; and for the 10 minutes I tell Ryan how I can’t believe I just did that. Luckily, the ladies’ boyfriend didn’t try to beat me up to appear more manly in front of his woman. Thankfully, they leave the restaurant as I keep my head drooped down close to the menu, pretending that soup of the day is the most interesting soup I’ve ever seen on the menu.

So this is how I am in China sometimes! I’m sure some people who have experienced some sort of culture change can understand my frustration. I think its mostly to do with all of the other cultural changes, and then on top of not expecting the restaurant situation to occur. China is filled with random situations where you think something should naturally go one way because of what you’re used to, and it goes the complete opposite.

Luckily this time I have yet to have one of these outburst! And so far Ryan thinks I’m fairly normal (but still believes I’m crazy)…which is true 🙂

Stay tuned for more funny stories like this one…I will most likely have more to share.

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2 thoughts on “Patience is virtue…that I don’t have

  1. very interesting. It appears that we are related 😉
    I’ve also had a few moments like this, that I’m not particularly proud of. I believe this is a character trait that we inherited from your great grandfather.
    Recently, one of my colleagues had to endure my verbal wrath after questioning my professional decision one too many times. The problem is that I wait to long to voice my displeasure with his attitude and then I just blow up and say things that I should not be saying. It’s been 59 years and I’m still trying to improve this characteristic. Maybe one day….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh boy! We really are related!! I’m glad you shared this bit of info because Im fairly positive it does come from my german side, but it’s hard to know for sure. Obviously something genetic…so we can’t really blame ourselves too much.. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

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